Dear Ainaa,
I know it is hard for you to accept the fact that he is forever gone and the feeling of hatred and pain that you are facing right now. It is never easy to get rid of them because you feel hurt and depressed that makes you cry everyday. But the thing that you shouldn't do is by doing silly things that may hurt you. You do have the right to be angry and sad. It is normal, you are human after all. There is no harm expressing your feelings but letting it out in a wrong manner will cause more injuries. You would never want to hurt the feelings the person you love because at the end, it will make you hurt and hate of yourself. Let the person to be as he is. Because that will make him special by being himself. It is part of him and there is nothing that you could do. It is up to the person to decide whether to change or not. Do not hate him but hate what he has done to you. As the saying goes, do not hate a person,hate the doings. For now, it is hard to forgive him but you have to learn to forgive. Ainaa, you should feel lucky that you have given an opportunity to have someone that loves you so much and wants to marry you. You could not blame the situation and other surroundings just to make you feel much better. It is his choice/decision to be made and you have to respect that. It is a hard decision to be made. You could not force him to choose you over some other things that are more important in his life. It is not right and selfish. You are not his priority. Live with it, Ainaa. He may do things that hurt you. He is a human after all. People do mistakes in their life and there is where they learn. Learning is a continuous process. Ainaa, you shouldn't feel bad and regret. You have done all you could to save your relationship. If it is not meant to be, it just won't happen. That is fate, but you should not give up or lose hope because certainly God will give you the best. HE always does and never disappoint you, Ainaa. Have faith in HIM. You have all the love in you. Do not waste it by filling it with hatred instead.
